It’s M’Birthday!
Reflections and Celebrations
Birthday Reflections
Rather listen than read?
My friend and sister, Jayson called me on FaceTime at 6:24 am MST, a minute after my birth time, waking me up to wish me a happy birthday with a song and a twerk. A tradition we’ve had for years. A gift that sweetens with time and is meant to be rewrapped and shared again. The sky is overcast, my favorite kind of sky here in the Phoenix Valley. It rained a little while I was on FaceTime with Jayson, so when I went outside to take this photo, I was greeted by the earthy aroma of water and clay. Just before sitting down to write this, the first side of the Wattstax album was wrapping up and the Staple Singers were crooning as I settled into the low light of an early morning on my 34th birthday.
Life is good and I am so grateful to live it!
Please Donate to Gbari’s Heart Transplant Fund
As a gift to me, I am requesting that you donate to and share Gbari’s heart transplant GoFundme. Gbari had a sudden cardiac arrest while in rehearsal last week, and was later “diagnosed with a rare heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and the situation is very serious. The medical team has informed the family that a heart transplant is now needed in order to save his life. Until a donor heart becomes available, he will need an artificial heart to sustain him, which will involve multiple procedures, extended hospital care, and a very costly transplant and recovery process.”
Gbari is an amazing dancer that I’ve had the pleasure of dancing with. He’s actually one of the first W*ackers I saw in Los Angeles that inspired to keep going on this journey. He’s a well loved person in this world and it would mean a lot to me if you could support Gbari “GQ” Gilliam’s heart transplant.
34th Trip Around the Sun
In Hellenistic astrology, there’s a timing technique used call Annual Profections. It’s used to determine the planetary ruler and natal house themes that inform the year. The 34th year, for all of us, is an 11th house house. ‘“The Eleventh House in astrology governs friends, groups, social causes, collective visions, hopes, and the future. Naturally associated with Aquarius and ruled by Saturn (traditional) and Uranus (modern), it is where the individual's creative energy and personal identity extend beyond the self to contribute to something larger” (thalira.com, 2026). My 11th house has Aquarius in it by whole sign making Saturn my planetary ruler for this year. Having a planetary ruler for a year is like having a particular ancestor walking with you with their hand on your shoulder and their voice in your ear.
This next year of life I have all of my ancestors who have comitted to cultivating community walking with me. I am graduating from ASU with my MFA in Dance (Interdisciplinary Digital Media and Performance) on May 11th and I’ll be returning to NYC this summer. I am excited to return to my communities in the city and outside of the acadmeic institution with questions about myself and what I’d like to offer to the world this lifetime answered. I’m ready to Latin Hustle, Lindy Hop, session, party, see shows, smile, laugh, kiki, kick it, vibe, and cultivate a revolution of love with everyone.
NYC!!! I’m coming home!
One of the things I am comitting to this year is being my most authentic self and assessing my authenticity by the ease I feel in my body. When I was younger, in middle school and high school, I misbelieved that I had to hustle for connection. I believed that I had to achieve to be seen, give more than I received, and be ok with being abandoned. Community was hard to feel sttled in when I misbelieved that who I was wasn’t good enough to be loved. I hid parts of my life, quieted my excitements, and ran from vulnerability in fear of being run from. I’ve been suffering with migraines these past few weeks and it’s reminded me of who I am because when pain like THAT knocks you down, there’s no energy left to act like someone else or hide yourself. Just as I was starting to put too much on myself as a soon-to-be graduate, these migraines reminded me that I do not have the capacity to hold unrealistic expectations of myself. My body reminded me that as my life lengthens, my relationhsip with my body, friends, family, and community will eclipse any and all institutional accomplishments. The pain was a return to center and I’m grateful for it. So, I’ll be honoring that call by responding as my most authentic and radiant self. The beautiful, the ugly, the pained, the jubilant… I’ll be embracing it all! Thank you for embracing me with me!
Grad School Update
I successfully defended my thesis last week!!! I’m grateful to my family, friends, and committee for the support on this journey. Your loving care really got me through this, and I had a lot of fun in the process. I am at the stage now where the thesis is barking back and demanding a transformation. My thesis question is “How do we cultivate liberation in the body?” and, I am at the stage of writing and editting where I can clearly see all of the ways I could have cultivated liberation in my own body in the past. The most significant challenge has been sidestepping shame for not having cultivated more liberation in the past with grace, humility, and laughter.
I graduate May 11th and my thesis will be finished in a couple weeks. Much to do and I’m grateful to be doing it!
Coming Up Next
ASU Spring Dance Fest
April 24 - 26, 2026
This will be my last official performance on stage at ASU as a graduate student. Tom Bullard, Cherish Hayes, and Domo Brown and I will perform SATURN: Chapter One again, offering one more time to catch this performance in the theater. Pull up, come through, and enjoy a great show full of amazing piece choreographed by students in the Dance Department and guest artists Akosua Akoto and Joan Rodriguez.
Arts in the Parks
April 29, 2026 between 7:15pm and 8:30pm at Optimist Park, Tempe, AZ
May 5, 2026 between 7:00pm and 8:00pm at Daumler Park, Tempe, AZ
More Information and Location Details
We will perform SATURN: Chapter One again but this time, we will be performing outside in the two of Tempe’s beautiful parks alongside some of the Phoenix Valley’s most amazing dance artists and collectve Alicia Nascimento Castro & Alyssa Johnson, Sankofa Dance Ensemble, and Arizona Repertory Ballet.
Check out the full program to catch this wonderful family friendly outdoor program!
Thank you for sharing in this birthday reflection and celebration with me.
With mch love and care,
-j.